Push, Capture, Underwear

3 things to inspire 1 story written in 20 minutes. #story320
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And then, we’ll run their underwears up the flag pole. I’ll be demoralizing. They’ll be huddled in a corner, fully clothed, but wearing no underwear. The shame of their capture won’t be enough, they’ll be forced to stare at their brown-streaked chonies flapping in the wind.

Are there any questions?

Sir, I have a question, sir.

What is it?

Well sir, who is going to remove their underwear? Also, sir, how do we know we can capture them alive? Won’t they be shooting at us sir?

Good questions, private. They will be firing live ammunition at us. I understand that the enemy is also aware that live ammunition has the potential to maim and/or kill us. Which is why we must capture them alive and remind them who is boss.

With the underwear thing, sir?

Yes, private, with the underwear thing.

Okay, sir, wouldn’t it be easier to kill them sir?

Easier physically perhaps, maybe even less dangerous but how will we really show them that we don’t want to kill them, we just want them to behave? We run their underwear up the flag pole.

Sir? In the event we are able to somehow get past their live ammo and grab them, wouldn’t it be more embarrasing for them if we made them stand around naked?

Johnson! I’m surprised at you. We’re already pushing the envelope by doing the underwear thing. That’s pushing too far if they stand naked. Also, I don’t want to look at that.

Sir, let me see if I understand your plan. You want us to run up the hill to their hideout, all 120 of us, with no live ammunition. You do want us to carry our weapons which are air soft guns painted black so no one will know the difference between a real and a fake gun. Then, somehow, you want us to push through their ranks and capture them alive, take off their underwear but keep their clothes on and then make them watch as we fun their underwear up the flag pole.


Sir, is there someway we can make our intention known? Perhaps if they knew we weren’t going to kill them, they wouldn’t shoot at us and then we wouldn’t die.

Private! if they knew all that, then they’d never be captured.

Sir, we won’t capture them if we’re all dead.

Private! That’s what you signed up for, now get your things ready, you charge the hill at dawn.

You, sir?

Yes, I have to stay back and observe so I can see if my plan will work. Trust me, if there were any other way…but there isn’t, Standard procedure.